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Alison Burgess

Why do I Feel Guilty?

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Running stress management workshops we inevitably end up talking about work-life balance and how difficult it can be to find it. Alongside these discussions we will also talk about prioritising and putting yourself and your needs first. Its at this point that the mutters and shaking of heads starts and then someone will say ‘I hear what you say but why do I feel guilty when I even think about doing this?’.

Why do I feel Guilty?

What is guilt? Guilt is an internal emotion and state that we create within ourselves. Guilt is a powerful stick which we can hit ourselves with. It comes from a variety of sources, all of which can have a powerful influence on ourselves and what we do.

Wanting people to like you; being a people-pleaser.
Do you need to think about what would please you more?

‘Shoulds’ – the things you tell yourself you should be doing.
Think about what you ‘Want’  or ‘Would Like’ to do. What really matters?

Being a perfectionist, not allowing yourself to make a mistake.
Remember we are all human its ok to make mistakes. The key is how you respond if a mistake happens.

Fear of ‘letting people down’.
Talk to them, have a conversation and you may be surprised what you discover.

Early conditioning or childhood messages to put others first.
These may have been valid at one point (underlining the may), but how about now?

Whether your guilt applies to managing your stress, finding your work-life balance or other aspects of your life, listen out for it and notice its impact. Then ask yourself ‘why do I feel guilty about this?’. By understanding the origins of guilt you will be better placed to move forward free from it.

For more information about building confidence and resilience go to the Limitless for Life website, contact Alison Burgess on 07931 556 167 or click here to follow on twitter.

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