Do you know how to say no? Or does it make you feel guilty?
Whenever I run stress management and work-life balance training the topic of saying “no” invariably comes up.
Saying no doesn’t just relate to work either. Having just had an Easter weekend running from one gathering to another its amazing how much stress we can create for ourselves even when we have a long weekend off! In my head I had thought, 4 days great I can do all the things I have been putting off, a declutter, some gardening, all the bits of home and garden work we all want to do over a bank holiday. I also knew I had two family visits and a charity collection to do! …..
…….. And all of a sudden it was Monday night. Where had the weekend gone? I felt exhausted and the daffodils I had bought from the supermarket 2 days before hand were still sitting in a coffee mug waiting to be arranged.
As human beings we don’t like to hear the word no, in fact once we have heard it in a conversation we are unlikely to listen to much else. Many of us also don’t like saying No top, particularly to others. So we end up with a long list of to do’s and very little hope of achieving everything. To manage our stresses and to maintain the work-life balance we desire we need to have the confidence to say no, in a positive and constructive way.
4 Tips for Saying No
Reflecting on my Easter these are the things I should have done !
1. Prioritize – the difference between cutting the hedges (necessary) and painting the kitchen table (a bit of a whim) was huge. Make sure you know the value of what you do so you can work through things in the right order for you. Also be prepared to say no to the things that are of lower importance in your life. Sometimes we really cant do it all!
2. Be constructive – we all know this one but it doesnt hurt to remind ourselves. Focus on what you can do and communicate that to yourself and others.
3. Focus what you have done – it is so easy to look at a to do list and focus on what is left to do. At the end of every day make sure you take stock of what you have done. It will boost your confidence and self esteem making it easier for the next time you have to say no.
4. Be prepared to HEAR no – is it that we don’t know how to say no, or that we just don’t like to do it? By learning how to hear No, taking time to understand what the person saying it really means, the idea of saying No may sit more comfortably with us.
So sometimes we need to know how to say no, to claim back our time and our lives and to find a moment to stop and appreciate the daffodils!
For more information about how Limitless for Life can help you to build your confidence and take control of your life see our website www.limitlessforlife.co.uk or contact Alison Burgess on 07931 556 167 or follow on twitter @limitless4life.